JAG: Harm and Vukovic Meet
by TnJAGAz
Summary: Takes place after "Straits of Malacca"…Harm is back from his JAGMan investigation and has heard about Vukovic's comments toward Mac. Woe to the person who ticks off a former Top Gun…. Humor…okay, maybe some revenge...


Harm and Vukovic meet

Author: TxJAG_b 

Email: 

Rating: PG Some language, tongue biting 

Spoilers: Could be, let's just say for the sake of argument there is…this takes place towards the end of Season 10. 

Classification: Humor…okay, maybe some revenge...

Summary: Takes place after Straits of Malacca…Harm is back from his JAGMan investigation and has heard about Vukovic's comments toward Mac. Woe to the person who ticks off a former Top Gun….

A/N1: Thanks to my beta, Karen for giving me some sound advice about not getting too bloodthirsty. LauraBF inspired me to do this. We both have the same opinion about the good Lieutenant and she liked my nickname for him…. ( ) indicates thought of person.

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Donald Bellisario, Belisaurius Productions, Paramount Pictures and Columbia Broadcasting Service Entertainment – this story is for non-profit entertainment of JAG fans only. No copyright infringement is intended or implied.

*A little tale of what I think Harm would do with the good Lieutenant if they ever meet.* 

Harmon Rabb, Jr. was putting on his flight suit and adjusting his helmet when Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie strode in, concern and worry flitting through her pretty features.

"Harm, promise me you aren't going to do anything rash?"

The Commander threw her an irritated look. "Mac, I promise you I won't do anything rash. Besides, he asked for this flight. I'm just accommodating the new guy."

She cocked one eyebrow at him in suspicion. "So you're not going to hold what he did to me against him?"

He gave her his best incredulous look. "Mac, do I look like the vindictive type?" 

She put her hands on her hips and gave a sarcastic snort. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

Before Harm could say anything Lieutenant Gregory Vukovic walked in wearing his flight suit. He took in their proximity to each other and immediately understood he had intruded on a private moment. (Perfect, just what he was hoping for….)

"Colonel, Commander. Did I come at a bad time? Do you need a few more minutes alone?" His smarmy greasy smile made Harm wish he had some antacid tablets.

Harm fought back the urge to say something snotty. He watched Mac's face falter as if she had been caught doing something wrong. "I – I was just conferring with the Commander about our witness list for the Van Buren murder trial," then Mac's voice turned hard. "Something you should be preparing for Lieutenant, not doing barrel rolls through the stratosphere with the Commander."

"Call it learning about the opposition, Colonel," Vukovic said almost haughtily.

"C'mon Lieutenant, let's get going," Harm said brusquely, pushing past a conflicted Sarah MacKenzie. Mac started to call out Harm's name, but at the last moment thought better of it. Especially with the Lieutenant so close.

*~*

"Andrews control, this is Yankee two seven five requesting clearance for takeoff…."

"Yankee two seven five this is Andrews control, you are cleared for takeoff on Runway three seven."

The F-14D Super Tomcat lifted in the turbulent afternoon sky.

"Hang onto your hat Lieutenant."

The self-assured Lieutenant smirked sarcastically at this dinosaur trying to intimidate him. "Bring it on, Commander."

Harm kicked in the afterburners sending the plane rocketing toward the cloud tops.

"The weatherman said there would be rain this afternoon," Vukovic said jocularly.

"Yeah," said Harm distractedly eyeing his backseat passenger. "How are you holding up back there?"

"This is great Commander," Vukovic said in a not so convincing manner. The violent rocking of the plane and the lack of strong air conditioning was making him woozy.

"Uh huh. You ready for a little fancy flying Lieutenant?" Harm dialed up the air conditioner as far as it would go, after all he just wanted to shake him up. Not make him sick. Still, the a/c couldn't always overcome the body heat and the rocking caused by bad weather.

"Whenever you are, Sir." Vukovic was looking decidedly green. Maybe this hotshot know-it-all would think twice about comparing flying in rough weather to riding on a destroyer in heavy seas….

"Right; okay, here we go…." Harm nosed the Tomcat over and pushed it into a screaming dive.

As Harm leveled out, he noticed the Lieutenant wasn't even trying to pretend to be cocky anymore.

"Hang on Lieutenant, it might get a little bumpy here," Harm said with a sardonic grin on his face.

Before Vukovic could respond, Harm sent the plane into a series of twisting barrel rolls.

"Makes you glad to be alive, right Lieutenant?" Harm heard the unmistakable sound of someone losing their lunch into a barf bag. The Commander's grin got wider. (Oh well….)

"Say Lieutenant, I heard you and the Colonel had some fun on the Palau last week."

The sound of retching filled the cockpit.

"Hmm, guess you're kinda busy back there," Harm said observing the man doubled over in the backseat. "Uh oh, heads up Lieutenant," the Commander said tersely, as he sent the plane into another screaming power dive.

"Oh my goddd," croaked Vukovic.

"Sorry," said Harm unapologetically. "This weather is rougher than I thought it would be. Maybe I should bring her down…."

"Y-Yes, Sir, I completely understand, Sir." The unnerved Lieutenant said a little too quickly.

Harm eyed the jerk in his radio operator's seat. "I thought you might, Lieutenant."

The Commander decided to see just how sleazy this guy was. "You know the Colonel is quite a looker…." 

Vukovic knowing something might be up, decided to play it cagey. "Uh, I'm not sure what you mean, Sir…."

Harm smirked at his weak attempt to throw him off. Harm laid it on thick. "Come on Lieutenant, I've worked with her for nine years going on ten, she's hot isn't she?"

Harm's 'boy's club' attitude lured him in. "Yes Sir, she sure is."

Harm touched down on the tarmac a little too roughly making the Lieutenant bite his tongue.

"Oww!"

"Sorry, that tailwind shifted too quickly," Harm said, eyeing his backseat passenger.

Lieutenant Vukovic was suddenly very quiet.

"You fall asleep back there, Lieutenant?"

"Noth thir, I bith mith thung."

"Sorry to hear that," Harm said doing his best to keep the look on his face sympathetic.

As the plane taxied to a stop, Harm pulled the canopy release. Lieutenant Vukovic took a full five minutes to pull himself from the cockpit, and lower himself to the ground. Harm tried his best to mother hen the man

"You know Lieutenant you have to be more careful, flying in a plane isn't like riding a ship in rough seas," Harm said soothingly.

Vukovic wanted to get away from the man as quickly as possible before anything else happened. "Yeth thir I untherstad thath nah,"

"I bet you do," Harm said under his breath.

Mac came running up. "Lieutenant! Are you okay?" She eyed Harm suspiciously.

He kept his eyes looking at the ground. He didn't dare look her in the eye. "Yeth Mamth, I bith mith thung."

She gave Harm a stern look. "Report to sick bay, Lieutenant."

"Aith aith mamth," The Lieutenant slowly made his way to the infirmary. 

She turned on the Commander. "Harmon Rabb that was dirty, low down stunt you pulled-"

"Maaac, the weather was pretty rough up there, I really-"

"You've pulled some nasty stunts in your time Squid, but that has to be the-"

"The best I've ever done?" Harm gave her that blinding smile of his.

Mac's anger faded as if on cue. "How many times did he throw up?"

"I lost count after four."

"Did you have to make him bite his tongue?"

"It'll make him think twice about saying anything suggestive to you, Jarhead."

"Harmon Rabb…thank you."

"You're welcome Mac. It's the least I can do for a friend." They linked arms and walked toward the infirmary.

-FINI


End file.
